The paradox of pleasure and pain

As living organisms we have been equipped with a pleasure / pain system. Our emotional pleasure system is short lived; our emotional pains system is long lived. Our physical pleasure system is short lived, our physical pain system is also short lived. It seems that the emotional pain system creates a memory that needs to be managed. Understanding the paradox of pleasure and pain puts our emotions into the appropriate context and helps us live happier lives.

Whilst we are prone to seek pleasure and avoid pain, we have a counteracting mechanism that disarms pleasure and prolongs pain. Not so long ago, in terms of evolution, our survival depended on our capacity to manage pain more than on our capacity to manage pleasure, therefore, our body is biologically structured to over react to pain and under react to pleasure. Our mind plays an important role in these relationships, we also over react to the idea of pain: that is what we call fear.

Media moguls know this well, our news should be called bad news, the prelude to pain captures our attention in a much more robust way that the prelude of pleasure.

The memory of pain is long lived, yet the feeling of pain is not. We create a larger than real expectation of pain in our mind. We don’t need to burn our hand twice to remember it is painful. Pleasure, on the contrary, is short lived, once we experience it, our brain starts to discard the molecules created by it as if they were a toxin. Our de-pleasurizing mechanism is amazingly dissapointing. Exactly the opposite happens to pain, we are wired to avoid it, yet once we experience it, it lingers there and there and there. With some tips we can manage both to have a healthier life.

If we are make to seek pleasure and to avoid pain, we can prolong the joy of pleasure by focusing on the pre pleasure stage and we can reduce the effect of pain by managing our fears before the pain happens – if at all. Once we are into the feeling, the pleasure will cease, the pain will linger.

Psychologists have long studied the effect of the pre-pleasure stage. It is commonly referred to as the anticipation process. When we are planning our vacation, imagining a date, preparing a meal, or setting up a party, we can pre-enjoy our pleasure. We can imagine how we are going to feel that is positive, we can indulge in the process of planning and getting ready. The anticipation process gives meaning to the phrase: “It is the journey, not the destination.” Prolonging our pre-pleasure stage makes sense considering that the pleasurable stage is short lived.
Pain on the contrary is long lived. When we think we might not meet our goal we are actually prolonging our pain both ways, before and after the actual event. Sometimes fears are reasonable, sometimes we exaggerate them…

When we lived in caves it may have made sense to have a raised awareness of fear because of survival. Today, however, we are bombarded by fear that might have absolutely no impact on our lives.

Understanding the paradox of pleasure and pain gives us a powerful tool to live more fulfilling lives. We might not be able to fast track evolution, but we surely can use our brains to work around it. The anticipation of pleasure sets us free, the anticipation of pain makes us worried –helplessly worried. Understanding and managing these differences helps us live healthier and happier lives.

Fall in love with your life,

Alicia

PD: our proof was sent yesterday. We are close to our august launch!