Falling in love with your life

Finding purpose, passion and prosperity

2009-08-25T00:37:00.001-07:00

Ashoka has just realeased the selection of Senior Fellows... If you ever think the world is going backwards or sideways... you've got to know about these amazing folks!

http://www.ashoka.org/fellows

HUMAN RIGHTS
Alito Alessi, Mexico, Senior Fellow
Eliminating prejudices and misconceptions towards disabled people through mixed-abilities dance that enables expression for all people.

Tasneem Siddiqui, Pakistan, Senior Fellow
Overhauling the traditional housing scheme by granting former slumdwellers access to affordable and developed plots of land.

Asad Danish, Afghanistan, Fellow
Bringing harmony to war-torn Afghanistan and the Pushtoon tribal belt in Pakistan by encouraging a culture of reading and increasing the literacy rate.

Junior Smart, UK, Fellow
Providing new avenues of reintegration for prisoners through a peer mentoring system led by ex-offenders.

HEALTH
Sanjeev Arora, USA, Fellow
Spreading a new model to treat complex chronic diseases in rural and underserved areas by connecting urban healthcare specialists with rural providers through communication technology.

Albert Jovell, Spain, Fellow
Democratizing healthcare by giving patients a platform to play a more participatory role in decisions concerning their health.

Jorge Gronda, Argentina, Senior Fellow
Creating a self-sustaining, alternative healthcare system for bottom-of-the-pyramid patients.

Anna Alisjahbana, Indonesia, Senior Fellow
Combating high infant mortality rates and child development problems through a model that combines early monitoring and intervention and strong doctor-patient relationships.

Julia Borbolla, Mexico, Fellow
Transcending traditional methods of child psychology with new forms of multimedia treatment.

ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT
Pierre Rabhi, France, Senior Fellow
Offering an alternative to agricultural industrialization patterns by demonstrating technical and philosophical relationships between human beings, food production, nature, and modernity.

Ingrid Munro, Kenya, Senior Fellow
Providing urban poor and slum dwellers access to business and housing loans, health and life insurance, and business education through the largest microfinance institution in East Africa.

Zeinab Al-Momani, Jordan, Fellow
Empowering female farmers to organize unions and gain access to economic and social opportunities.

Lucie Chagnon, Canada, Fellow
Bringing a new solution to help employees manage their personal responsibilities through the first online provider of work-life balance services.

LEARNING/EDUCATION
Jean-Claude Decalonne, France, Fellow
Increasing the performance of at-risk youth by teaching them teamwork, discipline and self-esteem through participation in school orchestras.

Fairouz Omar, Egypt, Fellow
Normalizing the idea of counseling for all individuals through training in-school counselors in methodologies adapted to Egyptian culture.

Connie Siskowski, USA, Fellow
Bringing recognition and value to youth who have dual roles as students and caregivers for ill, frail or disabled family members.

CIVIC ENGAGEMENT
David Castro, USA, Fellow
Building the capacity of marginalized communities by identifying grassroots leaders and teaching them the life skills to be agents of change.

Manon Barbeau, Canada, Fellow
Restoring damaged aboriginal culture through a professional film-making process that connects indigenous communities internationally.

Olivier Gaillard, Belgium, Fellow
Transforming the youth years in Belgium by organizing teenagers as agents of social change.

Tom Steinberg, UK, Fellow
Demystifying politics and democracy through participatory internet technology interfaces.

Raziq Fahim, Pakistan, Fellow
Countering the recruitment of young people by militant and extremist groups by engaging youth in the development of their region.

ENVIRONMENT
Rob Hopkins, UK, Fellow
Providing a holistic, bottom-up solution to the problems of climate change and peak oil.

The Addiction Dance

2009-08-14T02:30:00.000-07:00

My daughter sent me this amazing video...

Whilst studying the neuroscience of happiness for our new program, I read many experiments about addiction... as the dancers well and truly express, the mind of an addicted is captured in a prisson of pain and fear and the ilussion of scape, only to fall back into the trap...

The good news is that people do get out of addictions, but only if they want to.

Can't wait to read your comments...

The Social Good Conference!

2009-08-10T02:48:00.001-07:00

The Social Good Conference, being held at the prestigious 92nd Street Y in New York City on August 28th, will be a one-day educational event celebrating the finale of the Summer of Social Good charitable campaign. The conference will feature presentations from well known and respected organizations and professionals within the space focused on the theme of “Social Media for Social Good”.

Thanks to the sponsors, Zappos and MailChimp, 100% of all ticket sales will go to our Summer of Social Good non-profit fund!

Find out more about them here: http://mashable.com/socialgood-conference/

Beyond our circumstances

2009-08-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

I wonder if we are going to call this the F (for finger) generation... so many things are a finger click away, but that would probably be inconsiderate to people who don't have fingers.

I'm not joking, as two of the people I admire most in the world have no fingers (they are christians for those of you who need warning) Y

eap, Tony Melendez and Vic Vujicic... they both have fantastic videos youtube.com so, no F generation, but pure inspiration.

Tony Melendez is a singer and guitar player
here are some of his videos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3LFBqvvW-M
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=tony+melendez&search_type=&aq=f
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC60dBXTfvQ

Vic Vujicic is a motivational speaker
here are some of his videos

"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4uG2kSdd-4"
"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3LFBqvvW-M"

They are a clear example of how we are more than our circumstances. The world is better because they are here... What have they done differently? they looked beyond their circumstances and found a way to live their purpose.

I think that search is worth doing... what do you think?

Successful

2009-07-29T04:46:00.001-07:00

This is just a quick exchange with a reader of one of my books ...

He wrote:
By the way, I'm amazed at the life you've lived. If I am your mentee, what's the best advice can you give me to "succeed" in life, and I mean not only financially.

I responded:
You are already successful… you can read, you have access to internet, you can type, you speak the language of opportunities: English.

If you think about how far you’ve come since you were a crying baby, you’ve realized how successful you already are. The main problem today is that we have an external locus of control. We compare ourselves to others, that way we loose the capacity to do amazing things. You don’t have to be better than anyone else, you just have to be better than yourself. If you do that you always win…

How is that for a start?

...
What do you think???

The power of surprises

2009-07-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

I'm working frantically to finalize our program by the middle of September, including several tips on making our lives more enjoyable. Surprises and novelty are amongst the joys of being alive.

Every now and then we need to revert to something unusual. When the kick comes unexpectedly, we are surprise. It is known that differences add depth and enjoyment to life. Take good meals, for example, an earthy casserole tastes better if it is combined with a salad; a savory entrée with a sweet dessert; wine with cheese and apples and grapes. Variety builds up enchantement.

On one side, we like predictability so we can feel secure and plan accordingly, then something kicks in. An external change or the need for chaos. Yes, predictability builds up order, and we can be more efficient. Even so, we can only take so much predictability; it kills our creativity and innovation.

So, we need to revert to something unusual. We all like to be surprised, we don’t acknowledge it that much to the originator, nor we consciously make an effort to be that surprise in another person’s life. When you do something unusual for someone else, you surprise them, they don’t expect it and it triggers a chain of reactions that keeps them alert. It makes their life more enjoyable. Surprises keep us agile and alert. Companies that surprise us capture a space in our minds. They raise above the rest, they treat us in unusual ways, either as customers, employees, suppliers or as part of their community. We need to add more of that, both on our businesses and at our personal level.

Think about surprising someone, and be creative… you will enjoy the process as much as the receiver. Just remember, you can be the change you want in the world. Start now.

Just as I was going to post this, my friend Janet sends me this surprising wedding entry ... make sure you check it out...

and if you have any other surprises, share them up, we'll love to see them.

The paradox of pleasure and pain

2009-07-15T23:56:00.000-07:00

As living organisms we have been equipped with a pleasure / pain system. Our emotional pleasure system is short lived; our emotional pains system is long lived. Our physical pleasure system is short lived, our physical pain system is also short lived. It seems that the emotional pain system creates a memory that needs to be managed. Understanding the paradox of pleasure and pain puts our emotions into the appropriate context and helps us live happier lives.

Whilst we are prone to seek pleasure and avoid pain, we have a counteracting mechanism that disarms pleasure and prolongs pain. Not so long ago, in terms of evolution, our survival depended on our capacity to manage pain more than on our capacity to manage pleasure, therefore, our body is biologically structured to over react to pain and under react to pleasure. Our mind plays an important role in these relationships, we also over react to the idea of pain: that is what we call fear.

Media moguls know this well, our news should be called bad news, the prelude to pain captures our attention in a much more robust way that the prelude of pleasure.

The memory of pain is long lived, yet the feeling of pain is not. We create a larger than real expectation of pain in our mind. We don’t need to burn our hand twice to remember it is painful. Pleasure, on the contrary, is short lived, once we experience it, our brain starts to discard the molecules created by it as if they were a toxin. Our de-pleasurizing mechanism is amazingly dissapointing. Exactly the opposite happens to pain, we are wired to avoid it, yet once we experience it, it lingers there and there and there. With some tips we can manage both to have a healthier life.

If we are make to seek pleasure and to avoid pain, we can prolong the joy of pleasure by focusing on the pre pleasure stage and we can reduce the effect of pain by managing our fears before the pain happens – if at all. Once we are into the feeling, the pleasure will cease, the pain will linger.

Psychologists have long studied the effect of the pre-pleasure stage. It is commonly referred to as the anticipation process. When we are planning our vacation, imagining a date, preparing a meal, or setting up a party, we can pre-enjoy our pleasure. We can imagine how we are going to feel that is positive, we can indulge in the process of planning and getting ready. The anticipation process gives meaning to the phrase: “It is the journey, not the destination.” Prolonging our pre-pleasure stage makes sense considering that the pleasurable stage is short lived.
Pain on the contrary is long lived. When we think we might not meet our goal we are actually prolonging our pain both ways, before and after the actual event. Sometimes fears are reasonable, sometimes we exaggerate them…

When we lived in caves it may have made sense to have a raised awareness of fear because of survival. Today, however, we are bombarded by fear that might have absolutely no impact on our lives.

Understanding the paradox of pleasure and pain gives us a powerful tool to live more fulfilling lives. We might not be able to fast track evolution, but we surely can use our brains to work around it. The anticipation of pleasure sets us free, the anticipation of pain makes us worried –helplessly worried. Understanding and managing these differences helps us live healthier and happier lives.

Fall in love with your life,

Alicia

PD: our proof was sent yesterday. We are close to our august launch!

The magic of small tasks

2009-07-01T15:23:00.000-07:00

Small tasks can do wonders to alleviate a sense of sadness or melancholy. By doing so, our brain is distracted preventing the front lobe to seek negative thoughts from long term memory. The trick is to pick a small task that we are most likely to finish, it is not the time to make important decisions, but to get things done!

When we are sad our body feels like shutting down. It is in those times of reflection that the front lobe wants to make sure the feeling is valid. To so, it calls the long term memory and brings up images from times where the emotion was similar… Chances are that because we are alive, we do accumulate both positive and negative memories.

The search on the bank of memories –yes, at the back of our brain- happens when we are down, have you noticed that when we are positive we do not need to rely on previous experiences? We don’t need reassurance when we are ecstatic or thrilled. It seems that we do not store overjoy anywhere. We just feel it.

When we are gloomy, frustrated or sad, our brain gets very busy leveraging on our misery, bringing past experiences that have nothing to do with the present to validate our feelings. In such circumstances our body asks for inactivity, so it can do the energy-depleting exercise of sorting out our memories to find exactly the ones that are aligned with the emotion that is holding us down.

Perhaps that was a good coping mechanism when we lived in caverns, and we weren’t able to sit and watch TV and open the fridge to grab a bite. It was probably the time to paint, to think, and to sulk. Without any activity, however, our brain keeps wiring back and validating our emotions. In the times of the caverns –or actually in some regions- the sense of sadness can only last as long as we don’t have to get up and go out to seek food.

Unlike the pre-historic times, however, we are now aware of how our brain works and how we can manage our thoughts to manage our feelings.

When our ancestors painted and did manual work they were counteracting sadness and melancholy. It is because both problem solving uses the same area in our brain that is used to search in the bank of our term memory. Without much energy to embark in problem solving, we might as well rest. Yet, inaction, even mental inaction is not a cure for sadness. That is when small tasks become a blessing.

When we are gloomy, taking care of a small short task is magical. We get our brain to work on finishing a small task instead of allowing it to seek for reasons or validations that we can’t change, as they are in the past. Whether it is cleaning a drawer, making a pie, fixing that door, planting a pot, or completing a puzzle, keeping your mind occupied on doing something that you can finish magically wipes away the sadness.

A moment of sadness is the perfect time to finish up that small task that has been in our to-do list. Your brain will be busy sorting out how to finish it, and you will feel accomplished... this is one of the secrets of finding happiness and preventing depression.

If you are sad, take action and embark on a small task.

Crusoeing to the point of positivism

2009-06-20T05:35:00.000-07:00

Whenever you feel that you are stuck, in a situation where you can longer prosper, using the method described in Robinson Crusoe will help immensely.

Published in 1917, the novel takes us through the journey of a castaway in a remote island in the Caribbean. Think about it, the poor guy is stranded in a deserted island, with nobody to talk to, hungry, naked, lost… Slowly but surely he starts building his nest and on the few occasions he finds other people, they are either cannibals or pirates, rescuing a cannibal whom he called Friday. He waits and waits to be rescued… and over and over he needs to find hope when hope is lost. No wonder, Crusoe felt depressed.

As the story shows, we are not our circumstances, but our approach to them. At one point, he sits down to write the evil and the good in his situation. In a nutshell (and following the book’s language) he writes for example:

Evil: I am alone
Good: I was saved

Evil: I am hungry
Good: there is food around (I’m not in winter)

Evil: I have no clothing
Good: the weather is not cold

And so the list goes on… for each negative, he finds a counterpart that is positive. So, instead of thinking that he has landed in paradise, he goes onto crafting a way of thinking that both acknowledges the negatives that he is experiences but at the same time forces his brain to think about the positives.

Using this Minus-Plus system helps us stretch our brain, and by doing so, we are rebooting our neuronal connections, reinforcing the positive connections that are not cared for when we feel sad, stressed or frustrated. At the same time, we are responsibly acknowledging that the negative has its space… a space that has to be shared not filled!

This is by the way, one of the basis of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, used by psychotherapists to treat some mental illnesses.

Fall in love with your life…
Alicia

FYI: the original novel was written by Alan Dafoe under this title: The Life and strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an un-inhabited Island on the coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, where-in all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely deliver'd by Pyrates. Written by Himself"

Thriving together

2009-06-15T05:13:00.000-07:00

Patricia Schiavone writes from Uruguay that she has finished one of her dreams: her ebook "Thriving Together".

I met Patricia online when she has starting to reinvent herself. In few months, she was able to leave a job she didn't like, whilst creating a similar income doing exactly what she loves doing: writing. She has also managed to restart playing drums and enjoyes more time with her son.

We spoke about the power of intention last year, when I set my goals to do a couple of world tours - done already by May, a third one coming in September.

We have both reached our goals and are loving it. Never to be content, we are looking forward to our next challenges.

She is a living example that when we are in love with our life, we become unstoppable.

Here is her site

www.thrivingtogether.com

I highly recommend her book.

Thriving together,
Alicia

Start a trend

2009-06-10T03:27:00.000-07:00

Starting a trend is easier than we think... the magic number is three...

There is a saying in Spanish: One is a loner, two is a couple, three is a multitude..

The first one makes a move... the pioneer... another might or might not follow.
The second one creates a balance... connects
The third one creates a trend... a multitude...

Watch how this works on a Sasquatch Music Festival... Enjoy it!

Testing your love competencies

2009-05-30T17:47:00.000-07:00

Robert Epstein, whom I met in February this year in California, discussed his new program: Making love.

I love his work and have beent trying to bring him down under. I'm sure you will enjoy his mix of scientific foundations, empirical testing and lots of good humour.

Whilst I think that we owe it ourselves for fall in love with our life first, I'm sure we can take his learnings for our own self improvement.

Take the test and find for yourself about your personal profile and your love skills here http://myloveskills.com

I'm sure you will have a ball.

What is your legacy?

2009-05-29T02:09:00.001-07:00

Today is Friday evening and I am celebrating...

I want to have a profound joy tip, celebrating the life of my elders. My mum and dad whom I saw in Venezuela few weeks ago, and my mother in law who made me return to be at her side during her last days.

I had forgotten that death is part of life. I remember my friend Salim Abi Saab in my home country who told me once: we only 'have to' die, all the rest we do because we want to. And I've been thinking heaps (a lot in Ozzie English) about what my legacy will be.

For once, we've established some basic rules about our lives whilst we can make those decisions. No need to end in a Schiavo case, but those events are a call to action. We now know SOME wishes about the rest of our family members, but please don't make your legacy a headache for those behind.

When we think about our death, we open up the possibility to make the most of our today. Write your best memories now. Make a time capsule, pick your music, chose your flowers, your resting place, celebrate your life as if it was ending now....

We don't pick when we get in -lesson learnt with my grand daughter- we don't pick when we get out... but sure enough whatever is in the middle is all up to us.

Here is to your legacy

Celebrate the month of love sharing your thoughts

2009-02-01T08:19:00.000-08:00

We are doing a video and you are invited to participate!

Simply record a short message to the world about feeling in love with your life, send it to us and we'll add it to our blog. The video will be uploaded on you tube, so you can also insert it into your blog or web and help us spread the word that yes,
we need to talk about happiness.

And even more, after raising US$1.000 for "I'm an Angel," we'll share 20% of our February profits to a non-profit of your choice that focus on the prevention of depression. Simply
send us your favorite organization and we'll create a poll for our readers to vote in March.

You can select if your name and city will be displayed and by
participating you acknowledge that you give us permission to post the video on our blog at www.fallinginlovewithyourlife.blogspot.com and on youtube.

See this inspiring example below. Isn't the world wonderful?

Happy Valentines Day!

Are you that dot?

2009-01-14T21:51:00.000-08:00

Happy 2009...

This is
going to be a great year. thanks for all of you who voted for my manifesto. Life is better when we
are in love with our lives!

To start the year, I just wanted to share with you the story of a dot

Once upon a time a dot got tired... it was all over the place: here, there, over there. So, a simple dot decided to do something
different...

I know, I know. I'll become a dent, a footprint of a dot, so no matter what a write would do, I'll leave a mark.

and it worked...

wow! then I can probably stretch out and become and line, and here and there it tried and tried
but yet, to become a line, the dot needed other dots...

come here, the dot said: let's make a line.. and dots came from all over and some move South or North or East or West and Up and Down, and thus letters were forms and ideas and meaning.

and it all started with a single dot...

Are you that dot?

Dance, celebrate, enjoy life

2008-12-19T22:14:00.000-08:00

There is nothing like moving to shake sadness away... Yes, it's true!

I found about it by trial and error.. the same way I noticed that you can't look up and feel sorry for yourself... or that you can't feel great if you are laying on the floor. Maybe that is why we sleep on beds!

A friend sent me this note about Matt, who travelled around the world dancing.

It is a fantastic short video and very few people can take a look at it without smiling and getting on a good mood..

Enjoy it!

Peace, joy and lots of possitive energies this season.
Remember that happiness is inside, trying to get out, not trying to get in.

On behalf of our teams at Ventures Latinas and the Wealthing Group, happy holidays!

Alicia Castillo Holly

Are you in love with your life?

2008-11-13T19:26:00.001-08:00

is happiness a key of success or viceversa? is living fully even a question that we ask? can we have a great life even if it is not perfect? do you think asking about happiness is unprofessional? is it better to have no emotions in the workplace?